Before Stephen Colbert ever threw his hat in the ring, everyone's favorite childhood humor columnist had already announced -- via McClatchy Newspapers -- his intention to run for president. Shunning TV debates, Dave Barry is going directly to the people by answering questions from readers:

Q: When elected, will you by presidential mandate redesign the Food Pyramid? It’s a disgrace. The big part at the bottom contains radishes, broccoli and artichokes. All the good stuff such as cheese and butter only gets that tiny little triangle at the top.

A: When I am president we will have a Food Trapezoid, which will be at least 80 percent beer.

This all begs the question: Was Dave Barry ever funny?