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October 11, 05:34 PM

TV Shows that NEED to Become Movies

You’ve heard, I’m sure, about all the new movies slated to come out based on hit television shows of the past, like Sex and the City and Land of the Lost. As everyone knows, this formula works one hundred percent of the time, and if you don’t believe me then you haven’t seen Starsky and Hutch yet. I took some time to write down what television shows I think should be put on the silver screen.





Mind of Mencia


In the tradition of the Monty Python movies of the years past, it’s time for the new maestro of sketch comedy to get his own feature. Imagine it now! Three hours of Carlos Mencia with ZERO commercial breaks. He could go with one of two tantalizing possibilities in his first vehicle: the first being to do three hours of the hilarious skits that have pushed him into the holy echelon of television greats (make some room, Johnny Carson!). The second option is to spend all three hours developing one of his many exciting characters, like the crazy guy who blurts out offensive stuff, or the one that says other peoples’ jokes. Either way; bring it on!


60 Minutes


Since the third Jurassic Park, we haven’t had any films about dinosaurs.


Sportscenter


This is the way I would do it: take your classic run-of-the-mill sports movie, like a Rudy or a Glory Road and for the scenes that show the sport being played, have the always witty Stuart Scott or super-clever Chris Berman do some voiceovers. So for instance, when Rudy gets that sack in the last few minutes of the movie, Scott would shout out something like “Boo-yah! Show me the money! Straight butta! He’s livin’ la vida loca!” Sportscenter realized a long time before anyone else that the best way to make sports exciting is to scream catchphrases from movies and songs that were popular fifteen minutes ago while the highlights play.


Cavemen


Much like Lord of the Rings had the entire cannon of J.R.R. Tolkien to use, ABC’s comedy classic has a rich source of material that weekly half hour episodes cannot do justice to. If I were running this town, I’d make a three-picture commitment right now before the other cavemen related comedies start showing up in theaters.


According to Jim


According to me, this is the best idea I’ve ever had, and that’s saying something because I’m the person behind clickable sharpies.

COMMENTS

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