Last Call Intern Diary: Stupid Questions with Tom Green

Last Call with Carson Daly

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Stupid Questions with Tom Green

Hello friends. Tom Green, host of the hit online talk show that broadcasts from his home here in California came to the show recently. I got a chance to sit down with him, and at the risk of being labeled an exaggerator; we are now best friends forever.

Will Lerner: Take me back to your childhood days, when you were just a young rapscallion running amok in the fields of Ontario.

Tom Green: Anything specific, or…?

WL: A memory.

TG: A memory?

WL: Yes.

TG: I don’t know if I have any memories from childhood, that’s the problem. Can that be my answer? “What are your memories from childhood,” I don’t have any memories from childhood?

WL: Really?

TG: I blocked a lot of it out. Everything before three years ago??ed to block it out. I’m focusing in on the present. I liked going to the cottage; that I remember…

WL: Did you…

TG: The internet.

WL: The internet?

TG: Yeah, it was exciting, playing with the internet back when I was a kid in Canada. The 80’s, I got into it. Started doing a lot of live broadcasting. You can see everything we’re doing over at TomGreen.com. It’s pretty amazing.

WL: Did you always know you were Canadian, or is that a choice?

TG: I always knew I was going to be Canadian. I always was Canadian, and still am Canadian. I’ve put in three times for American citizenship and was denied, so I’m just assuming it’s not going to happen.

WL: Who’s the greatest Canadian prime minister? Charles Tupper, Lester B. Pearson?

TG: Pierre Elliot Trudeau.

WL: I’d go with John Abbot.

TG: That’s not even a Canadian Prime Minister.

WL: I looked at Wikipedia…he was.

TG: What year was he?

WL: The 1800’s.

TG: The 1800’s? He’s not the best one. Pierre Elliot Trudeau is the best one. He dated Barbara Streisand, I don’t know if you know that, it’s something all Canadians are proud of.

WL: Well, everyone’s kind of dated…I dated Barbara Streisand.

TG: Yeah, our whole country’s dated her.

WL: Before this interview started, you demanded that I make you look good or you’ll hunt me down, what did you mean by that?

TG: Is this some sort of a “Punk’d” kind of thing going on here? Are you even from NBC.com? How did you get into my dressing room? Who the hell are you? You’re some kind of nut job, aren’t you?

WL: Maybe. Coffee or tea?

TG: Coffee.

WL: Jam or jelly?

TG: Jelly.

WL: Chinese food or “Teletubbies”?

TG: Chinese food.

WL: I’m going to tell you one of the questions that I was going to ask but ultimately rejected: Do you get angry with latecomers like Leonardo DiCaprio and Al Gore, as you were the first to be green?

TG: Who rejected that?

WL: I did.

TG: You rejected it?

WL: Yes.

TG: But then you overrode yourself? Give yourself a raise.

WL: Are there any questions you’d like to ask me?

TG: Who are you? How did you get in here?

WL: I bribed security.

TG: I would like to tell you to make sure you go check out TomGreen.com. We have the most up-to-date and modern on-demand page. Tell everyone else to do that too.