September 26, 02:16 PM
Actors Who Need To Come Back
Once in the forefront of our minds and hearts, they have slipped into semi-obscurity. The following people must come back to the limelight and entertain once more:
Carl Winslow and Uncle Phil
I’ve mentioned this to several of the people I pay to be my friends. I want Quentin Tarantino, the master of bringing actors back into the limelight, to get Uncle Phil and Carl on the phone and make a movie. About what, you ask? I respond that I don’t care as long as the two of them get to A) act grumpy, B) do some serious fat man dancing to some classic Marvin Gaye or Sam Cooke, and C) give a lecture that enlightens the character they’re speaking to AND the audience.
Sean Young
Hey people, why don’t you get off your pedestal? Why don’t you get off your high horse? Why don’t you get off your high horse that’s on a pedestal? Haven’t we all dressed as Catwoman and confronted Tim Burton? No? Only her and me? Actually, the weirdest part of that story is we both did it on the same day. I don’t want to seem CATTY (comedy gold), but my costume was much more flattering than hers.
Hayden Christensen
He was of course, the acting powerhouse who, on his shoulders alone, made the new “Star Wars” trilogy better than the original. The passionate, burning romance scenes with Natalie Portman stand as a testament to my cause to set more romantic comedies in futuristic space settings. Just think about how wonderful “License to Wed” could have been if it had been set on a space shuttle.
Borat
Quick! Before the quotes from that movie stop being repeated! My ears just stopped bleeding and I’m confused and a glutton for punishment. Give me some “I liiiike” and “I like to make sexy time”! Sacha Baron Cohen needs to make a sequel so those lines won’t disappear!
Tim Allen
Timothy, where have you been? In 2006 you were on FIRE and on top of your game, making the movies that will define you for the rest of your career: “The Santa Clause 3,” “Zoom,” and “The Shaggy Dog”. You got me all excited for 2007 when the super awesome funny “Wild Hogs” came to my local movie theater, but that’s been it, and now IMDB is telling me that I’m going to have to wait til 2008 for your next movie. What the hell, man? I only use this compliment sparingly: Tim Allen, you are as funny as Carlos Mencia. Get back on the silver screen already!
Well, time will tell if these guys (and gal) will ever get back to the level of awesomeness they already showed they can output. I’m calling on the Spielbergs, the Rudins, the Weinsteins, and any other big producers out there to get these folks back in the consciousness of the American people. Until then, television and movies just won’t be as good as they could be.
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