nbc.com

September 24, 02:39 PM

A New Season, A New Start!

Hello friends, as you know well by now, our show has moved into its seventh season here on NBC! I thought that since the new season equals a new year to us here at Last Call with Cason Daly, I'd share some of my new season resolutions!





1) I'm going to finally put some effort into my work here at Last Call. Rather than my current schedule of coming in whenever I feel like it and leaving when I'm bored, I'm going to give the 9 to 5 thing a real whirl!


2) I'm going to finally introduce myself to Carson. Right now he only knows me as the guy who's he walked in on several times into his dressing room to find sleeping on his couch. Generally I rush out without explanation. But now, damn it, I'm going to say, "Hi my name is Will Lerner and lunch makes me sleepy"!


3) I'm going to start watching the show now. The last while since I've been working on the show, 1:30 to 2:00AM was devoted to me catching up on the entire series of "Designing Women". But now that I've seen all of the show, I can finally tune into the Carson Daly show. I know it might be shocking to you to hear that, I, the show's number one employee, don't watch the show, but you try ignoring the antics of Julia Sugarbaker and Mary Jo Shively! If you succeed I'll eat my hat.


4) I'm going to stop keying peoples' cars in the parking lot. No explanation really necessary.


5) I'm going to discontinue my black market baby selling. The feds let me off with a stern warning after the last time they caught me, but if they catch me again I might have to do community service, and there's no way I'm cleaning highway roads or candy striping. A special shout out to FBI Agent Lenny Iannizzotto, who's caught me 3 times now.


6) I'm going to stop constantly quoting my all-time favorite comedy television show, "Mind of Mencia". I understand that even the funniest writing, if repeated too often, will wear thin on others. It's just that Carlos Mencia's humor really, really, really speaks to me. "Dee-dee-dee"! HAHAHAHAHAHA. Comedy gold.


7) I'm going to cease my tendency to create a running commentary of what others are doing in the bathroom.


8) I'm going to end my vicodin addiction. Not because of the damage to my body but because the cost is killing me.


9) I'm going to stop being that guy at the office party who just stands next to the food platters wondering out loud "I WONDER WHAT THEY PUT IN THIS?" as a way of starting a conversation.


I'm going to start wearing pressed pants. This improves upon my former decision to not wear any at all.




Only time will tell if I'll stay true to any of these resolutions. Let's see if I have enough WILL power. HAHAHAHAHA. Comedy gold.

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