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Untitled Document
November 04, 2007
October 07, 2007
September 30, 2007
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August 07, 12:08 PM
Interview with Executive Producer, David Friedman
Quick, think of who, above all others, is your greatest hero. Have one? Well, I’m going to guess that most of you were thinking Michael Jordan or Abraham Lincoln or your parents or Cybil Shepard. My hero is Last Call with Carson Daly’s executive producer, David Friedman. Besides being the most intelligent person I know, he has commendable hygiene and obeys most traffic laws. His resume is impressive, besides the hit television shows he has worked on; David is clairvoyant and makes a world-famous three-meat chili. He makes all the decisions that make the show what it is and God bless him for it. He also signs my paycheck! I got to sit down with David and chew the fat.
Will Lerner: Position?
David Friedman: Mine?
WL: Yeah.
DF: Executive producer.
WL: How long did it take you to get to this position of power?
DF: Power? Am I in power?
WL: Yes, you are.
DF: About six months.
WL: Really?
DF: I was being sarcastic.
WL: Really, because someone as obviously talented as you would seemingly already be running this network by now. On another and completely unrelated topic, you decide my future here, right?
DF: Yes, you just insulted me though. You said I should be running the network but instead I’m running a show that’s on at 1:30 in the morning.
WL: Umm, skipping ahead, I don't want to seem too sycophantic or hyperbolic…
DF: I don’t know what either of those two words mean.
WL: But you are really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, great. Now that I've paid you such a sincere compliment, maybe you'd like to say something to me?
DF: No.
WL: So, do you know Carson?
DF: Yes, I do, he’s a big part of the show.
WL: He doesn’t know who I am.
DF: That’s not true, I saw a picture of the two of you online.
WL: He didn’t know I was taking it.
DF: Carson’s great.
WL: How great? Really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, great?
DF: Not that great. Just really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really great.
WL: You told me that my idea of having a show where we just show Last Call staffers wearing parachute pants and beanies posing on set was stupid. I was hoping for some clarification as to why you think this.
DF: If you need clarification as to why that idea is stupid, then you are, in fact, stupid.
WL: Can I tell you a new idea that might interest you?
DF: Is it as bad as that other one?
WL: No, well…ok, first of all, I don’t think that other idea was bad. My new idea…
DF: Will I think it is as bad as the first idea?
WL: I think I’m about to find out.
DF: Shoot.
WL: It's totally different from that last thing I just told you. Ok, get this, Last Call staffers wearing parachute pants, beanies, and moon boots.
DF: Ok, that’s equally as stupid. In fact, I think it’s the same idea.
WL: It’s not; they’re wearing moon boots.
DF: Alright, next question.
WL: No, hold on, let me just sell it a little harder…they stand there, no one talks.
DF: Right, this is television.
WL: Exactly!
DF: No, it’s boring.
WL: Alright, if you’re asking for some dialogue, we could have them murmur.
DF: Have you heard Damien Rice’s cover of “Creep”?
WL: No…
DF: Keep going…
Editor’s Note: David now starts to put on a CD.
WL: You’re going to try and drown me out, aren’t you?
Editor’s Note: I’m referring to the tape recorder I’m using to capture this interview.
DF: It doesn’t matter; this won’t see the light of the day.
WL: Let's say one wanted to know a way to get a promotion in this office without having to do all that "working hard" or "gaining experience" crap you throw around. No offense.
Damien Rice: “I don’t belong here…”
DF: Hear that? “I don’t belong here”? Is that telling you something? So you want to know how to get a promotion here?
WL: Yeah, I don’t want to work hard, I don’t want to have to learn anything, I show up late at least four days out of five a week, if I show up at all.
DF: Do you even work here anymore?
WL: Technically, no. I had to jump the gate to get inside here. Give me three words that would sum up your feelings on working here. Here are mine, and I want to remind you of your promise to not get upset about the three words that I would use to sum up my feelings about working here.
DF: I didn’t promise that.
WL: Yeah, well, you did, so, anyway: ducklings, absinthe, hell-on-earth. And torture. And pain. So, really, five words.
DF: Is hell-on-earth one word?
WL: Hyphenated, yes.
DF: If you’re so miserable here you can go back to the job you had before this.
WL: I didn’t have a job.
DF: Exactly.
WL: You guys found me on the street, I was trying to rob an old woman…Judging by your stony silence, I'm guessing my time is up. I'll leave you with this thought: Please promote me. Seriously, please promote me, I'm five thousand dollars in debt. It's my fault in many ways, I have sixteen credit cards that I don't really keep track of.
DF: Is that true?
WL: No.
DF: So you’re a pathological liar?
WL: No.
DF: Is that a lie?
WL: Ye…I mean no.
Person pictured in above photos may or may not be David Friedman.
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