Last Call Intern Diary: Interview with Head Writer: Dave King

Last Call with Carson Daly

Untitled Document

Interview with Head Writer: Dave King

True story: In 1908 a young man had a vision and a dream and immediately got to work. By simply rolling up his sleeves and believing in himself to no end, the young man made history. In 1908 Henry Ford changed the world as we know it when he introduced the world’s citizenry to the Model T. Today his work still impacts us all. Dave King, Last Call with Carson Daly’s head writer, is a lot like Henry Ford. They both have four letters in their last name. Coincidence? No, it’s destiny. I got to sit with Dave and shoot “the breeze” about “the business”.

Will Lerner: Your position?

Dave King: Head writer.

WL: How’d you get the job?

DK: I got it through a friend of a friend; I’d actually rather not say anything more than that. I don’t want to get anyone in trouble.

WL: Now that you’ve lied, whom did you sleep with to get this job?

DK: Can I plead the fifth here, or no?

WL: You’re going to look suspicious…

DK: I plead the fifth.

WL: How am I doing so far?

DK: B minus.

WL: Why don’t I get invited to parties?

DK: We don’t have parties. And when we do have them we don’t invite you.

WL: Yes, that’s the question, why don’t I get invited to parties?

DK: That’s not my area; you’d have to ask the social planning…chairman.

WL: Can you throw a party at your house and then invite me and brag about me in front of important people, who will, if you do your job correctly, will invite me to subsequent parties?

DK: I could try…yeah; we could do that.

WL: Can we set a date?

DK: No.

WL: Can you tell me where you live?

DK: No.

WL: The only reason I ask is because I’d like to put balloons on your mailbox. And then over the next few weeks put up an increasing amount of decorations. To prepare slowly, much like how one would plan a wedding.

DK: I’m getting border-lined creeped out right now.

WL: Carson Daly: Folk hero, folk legend, or mythic folklore?

DK: He’s a folk hero.

WL: Explain.

DK: I don’t know man, he’s a hero. He’s folk in the traditional sense of the word; he’s a man of the people.

WL: I meant folk like the Kingston Trio or Peter, Paul, and Mary.

DK: Yeah, you should see his huge collection of Weavers albums.

WL: Explain Weavers.

DK: Weavers? You’re asking about folk and you don’t know the Weavers?

WL: My knowledge of folk music only extends to the Wikipedia article I glanced at before this interview.

DK: Well if you want to know more about folk music from a hero, ask Carson.

WL: Do you think you could throw a party and invite both Carson and me…

DK: Next question.

WL: Is cross-dressing a belief or a theory?

DK: I think it’s a belief, I’ve seen people do it so it can’t be a theory.

WL: You seem to know a lot about cross-dressing…

DK: I don’t know if you went to college…you know what roommates are like in college? One’s a witch; another is into Nine Inch Nails. It’s like one out of every three roommates in college is going to be a cross-dresser.

WL: So you know a lot about cross-dressing because you roomed with cross-dressers.

DK: Yes and they taught me how to cross-dress. And now I do it frequently.

WL: And you go to cross-dressing parties.

DK: The party thing’s not happening.

WL: How does one make good television, please only speak in clichés.

DK: You got to give 110 percent. The show must go on.

WL: Right, the grass is greener on the other side.

DK: Yes, there’s a French expression, a cliché they have in France: “Quif ollen uf quif olen buf.” It means he who steals an egg steals a cow. It’s my philosophy.

WL: What’s it like to work in the entertainment industry?

DK: People like to say that it’s different, but it’s just like working in any industry.

WL: Yeah? Exactly the same?

DK: No, you have to make a television show instead of making shoes or whatever.

WL: But you could make a television show about shoes? Is that what you’re saying?

DK: If you’re saying that you want to pitch a television show about shoes to NBC, I don’t think that’s a very good idea.

WL: If I work really hard can I be in your shoes one day? I meant that rhetorically, I’m not hitting on you.

DK: If you were hitting on me, that’s a terrible question. I don’t know if you’ve ever hit on a girl or not, but if you met a girl in a bar and said “if I tried really hard, could I be in your shoes one day,” she would not think you were trying to ask her out.

WL: That’s just one of the lines I would use. Another would be “do you know what time it is?”

DK: That’s better I guess…

WL: And then she’d tell me and I’d say “thanks”.

DK: Right. You have any other questions?

WL: What do you say to the six or seven other people who might want to write for this show one day?

DK: I don’t know, there’s got to be something better to do…maybe teaching, being a chef?

WL: Being a professional party planner maybe?

DK: I feel like you’re trying to hard, Will. I like the cut of your jib, but I just don’t know.

WL: Best way to get noticed in Hollywood: Exposing yourself, blaming the Jewish people for all of history’s wars, dropping the F-bomb, or driving drunk?

DK: Dropping the F-bomb. You can’t drop too many F-bombs. We’re talking about the word “fart,” right?

WL: Yes. On a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being the highest, 9 being the number closest to 10, which, as I just told you is the highest, 8…

DK: I have a lot of stuff I have to do today…

WL: I just want to make sure that I get the right number. So then there’s 7…

Three minutes later

WL: So what number would you pick?

DK: For what? You didn’t tell me what the scale was for.

WL: Thank you, this has been a blast, see you at the next party.

DK: You’re not invited.

Comments (380) permalink

Posted by Last Call at 03:38 PM

COMMENTS

next time you come home, we'll have a nice party at MacDonald's, promise.

Posted by Will's Mom

July 25, 2007

Dave King is my favorite bearded elf after Santa Claus. This interview was confusing, though, because I kept thinking you were talking to Donkey Kong. Which would be fine, except I know he speaks French about as well as you write it, so that threw me off a bit.

Posted by Volcabbage

August 14, 2007

Now you've done it, Volcabbage! Confess! You murdered Dave, didn't you!

Posted by Bolcabbige

September 21, 2007

such (wow power leveling)fsefesfsfesfsf

Posted by wow power leveling

April 17, 2009

92CoAb

Posted by Tzjrbcih

July 14, 2009

CZFWTb