Last Call Intern Diary: 3 Stupid Questions with Patton Oswalt

Last Call with Carson Daly

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3 Stupid Questions with Patton Oswalt

Ever since this blog started, I, Will Lerner, have been told that I am not big-time, which, as you have all seen over the extent of this site, is a complete un-truth. Steadily and surely over the past few weeks, my star has risen and risen and now I, much like Carson, am big enough a personality to meet and greet with the stars who come to Studio 9 in Burbank.

So without further ado, I present the first in a long series of interviews with Last Call with Carson Daly’s guests, dubbed “3 Stupid Questions”. This entry: “Ratatouille” star and popular comic Patton Oswalt.

Will Lerner: I hear you are a big fan of the comics. What superhero do I most resemble?

Patton Oswalt: Who do you most resemble…oh, Wesley Dodds, who was the Golden Age Sandman.

WL: I should have told you I have a lasso of truth.

PO: A lasso of truth.

WL: A real one.

PO: Then you resemble…Wonder Woman?

WL: Please fill in the blank on the thought that has been on the mind of most Americans: Kevin James smells like _____.

PO: Arbor Day.

WL: Arbor Day.

PO: Yes.

WL: Care to elaborate, or…?

PO: No.

WL: Who wins in a fight: Matt Damon or Rue McClanahan?

PO: Matt Damon wins the fight, but it costs him an eye because she’s a dirty fighter. She doesn’t mind losing, but it’s going to cost you something. Just ask Sandy Duncan.

WL: I know I only was allowed three questions, but now that this interview is over, is there anything you’d like to say? Maybe something along the lines of: “Will you have impressed me to no end and please come to a clam bake that I am throwing in your honor at my house”?

PO: Will, this has been a life changing experience talking to you and I hope that you’ll accompany me to the Gogol Bordello show that I just got tickets to, said Patton Oswalt sexily.