green is universal

5 Weird Ways in Which the Wild Kingdom Could Turn on Us for Destroying the Earth

Posted at 11:03 AM on January 21, 2008 comments (0)

By Michael Marano, SCIFI.com

Frogs (1972)
Directed by George McCowan

Oscar winner Ray Milland appears in a different kind of Lost Weekend, as the wheelchair-bound patriarch of a grumpy family that has more in common with the cast of a game of Clue than any real clan. Unca Ray sets out poison traps for the critters on his private island, and in his day was quite the hunter. Frogs, snakes and other kinds of creepy-crawlies slither in for the attack. This low-budget gem famously played on a double bill with Godzilla vs. the Smog Monster, making for the most eco-aware night at the drive-in ever.

Day of the Animals (1977)
Directed by William Girdler

Ozone depletion leads to animals like hawks, mountain lions, bears and wolves teaming up to bump off really annoying 1970s stock characters. Hikers are set upon by the ozone-depletion-crazed critters and are of course picked off one by one, and not slaughtered en masse (otherwise, the movie would be 10 minutes long). How the critters know that it's Homo sapiens that are responsible for the hole in the ozone layer isn't explained, but the massive amounts of fluorocarbon-propelled hairspray in the coifs of the female cast might be a clue. With Leslie Nielsen and Christopher George. Really.

Night of the Lepus (1972)
Directed by William F. Claxton

Somehow, MGM thought that Australian SF writer Russel Braddon's satiric novel The Year of the Angry Rabbit would make a good horror movie. Genetic manipulation to control the rabbit population leads to bunnies the size of Volkswagens, played by real hippity-hoppers shot through a macro lens and by guys in bunny suits jumping on and mauling hapless victims. Starring Oscar nominees Stuart Whitman and Janet Leigh, and featuring the greatest movie line ever: "Attention! Attention! Ladies and gentlemen, attention! There is a herd of killer rabbits headed this way, and we desperately need your help!" Clips are featured in The Matrix.

Barracuda (1978)
Directed by Harry Kerwin and Wayne Crawford

In among the scads of 1970s Jaws ripoffs (Grizzly, Claws, Great White, Orca, Devil Fish ...) comes this zero-budget number, in which chemicals dumped into the water by bad guy named Jack, owner of "Jack Chemicals Company," leads to barracudas going berserk and chomping people. Turns out the chemicals are part of some government mind-control conspiracy, and the flick shifts gears from a Jaws ripoff to a Three Days of the Condor-type 1970s bit of paranoia. Think Alan J. Pakula making Piranha. With no money. Over a weekend.

Eight-Legged Freaks (2002)
Directed by Ellory Elkayem

The only revenge-of-the-animals flick on this list not made in the 1970s is a conscious throwback to 1970s revenge-of-the-animals flicks, and 1950s A-bomb paranoia flicks. Horrible, nasty chemicals dumped in mine shafts near a small town lead to local arachnids growing to giant size and feasting on local townsfolk, pets and ostriches (of the livestock variety). Great fun, in that unlike 1950s giant spiders (think Tarantula and Earth vs. the Spider), these are energetic critters, like wolf spiders, that leap on hapless prey. The flick is also of note in that it overtly addresses the economic issues that would make the town's mayor think that a toxic dump near the water table might be a good idea.

Michael Marano
SCIFI.com