nbc.com

July 18, 12:30 PM

LOST BATTLESTAR

Dwight Schrute here with a much belated addition to my ‘blog’.

‘Where the “F-“ have you been!?’, scream my (literally) hundreds of  
readers.

Well, I’ll tell you.  There have been some big changes at Dunder-
Mifflin and I have been busy as a beaver.

[Note:  I know full well that that phrase makes no sense whatsoever.   
Beavers are not busy unless their dams are continually knocked down  
and destroyed by pesky neighborhood kids and/or storms]

Plus with the beet harvesting and my laser tag team (the Gandalfs!)  
making it to regionals, my time has been quite limited.

There is a question that has been eating away at me like a flesh  
eating bacteria or a wolverine.

WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF THE CAST OF BATTLESTAR GALACTICA CRASH LANDED ON THE ‘LOST’ ISLAND???!!!

First of all, they would have lasers.  Adama would quickly secure the  
hatch for his crew.  The survivors of the Oceanic flight 815 would be  
herded up like little children and inspected like cattle.

“Could these people actually be Cylons!” Starbuck would be thinking  
to herself.  Then she would think, “That one who calls himself Sawyer  
is pretty hot.  I wonder what he would look like swimming in just his  
jeans.”

Starbuck would take Sawyer on a reconnoiter of the island and they  
would visit the swimming hole and start necking.  And then Kate and  
Apollo would stumble upon them and they would all be getting it on  
when a huge crashing would come through the jungle and one of those  
huge unseen monsters would tower above them (the monsters that  
disappeared after episode 8 of season 1) and they would be  
screaming. 

AHHHHH!!!!

Cut to commercial.

Meanwhile back at the hatch, Adama would want to imprison the “Lost”  
cast in the old cave with the creek in it, but president “Roslin”  
would want to reason with them and have both casts mate in order to  
create more surviving humans.

Meanwhile the Cylons would have contacted the Others and they would  
form an “alliance” to destroy all the good humans and especially that  
annoying French woman who lives on the other side of the island.

Starbuck would shoot the unseen monster and Sawyer would say  
something witty and sexy, like “Nice shot, blondie.  Where’d you  
learn to shoot a laser like that?  From watching princess Leia?”

She would say, “Put a sock in it Sawyer” but the attraction would be  
too much for them and they would have to start making out again.

MORE NEXT WEEK  on THE CONTINUING SAGA OF ‘LOST BATTLESTAR™’!!!

COMMENTS

Dwight, you freaking rule. I don't really like either show, but putting them together would ensure my constant viewing attention. Long live, Dwight Shrute, long live.

William Styron, whose Holocaust novel Sophie's Choice became a film and an opera, has died, aged 81.

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A musical about the witches from The Wizard of Oz breaks West End box office records, its producers say.

Alec Baldwin asks for his voice to be removed from an "unfair" documentary about Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Borat creator Sacha Baron Cohen reportedly signs a $42.5m (£22m) film deal starring his character Bruno.

The Rolling Stones postpone a show in the US to allow singer Sir Mick Jagger time to rest his voice.

Classical singer Russell Watson postpones his forthcoming UK tour after undergoing brain surgery.

Singer George Michael lends the piano on which John Lennon wrote Imagine to an anti-war exhibition.

Alec Baldwin asks for his voice to be removed from an "unfair" documentary about Arnold Schwarzenegger.

London-born rapper Sway is to be honoured at the BET Hip-Hop awards in the US.

Veteran game show host Bob Barker is stepping down from hosting The Price is Right after 35 years.

Veteran game show host Bob Barker is stepping down from hosting The Price is Right after 35 years.

Colombia's vice president is "baffled" by Kate Moss's success following cocaine allegations.

Veteran game show host Bob Barker is stepping down from hosting The Price is Right after 35 years.

The first stage of a £150m investment in regional museums is praised for boosting visitor numbers.

A musical about the witches from The Wizard of Oz breaks West End box office records, its producers say.

Social networking site MySpace is to block users from uploading copyrighted music to its pages.

Singer George Michael lends the piano on which John Lennon wrote Imagine to an anti-war exhibition.

Doctor Who takes three prizes at the National Television Awards in a repeat of its success last year.

Borat creator Sacha Baron Cohen reportedly signs a $42.5m (£22m) film deal starring his character Bruno.

Classical singer Russell Watson postpones his forthcoming UK tour after undergoing brain surgery.

London-born rapper Sway is to be honoured at the BET Hip-Hop awards in the US.

TV host Oprah Winfrey gives audience members $1,000 (£526) each to donate to a charitable cause.

The judge who put coded messages in his Da Vinci Code plagiarism trial ruling has written another.

A musical about the witches from The Wizard of Oz breaks West End box office records, its producers say.

Pioneering screenwriter Nigel Kneale, best known for the Quatermass TV serials and films, dies aged 84.

Borat creator Sacha Baron Cohen reportedly signs a $42.5m (£22m) film deal starring his character Bruno.

Madonna says she may adopt another child from abroad following her proposed adoption of a Malawian boy.

Social networking site MySpace is to block users from uploading copyrighted music to its pages.

The Rolling Stones cancel a gig in Hawaii and postpone other tour dates as Mick Jagger suffers throat troubles.

The Rolling Stones cancel a gig in Hawaii and postpone other tour dates as Mick Jagger suffers throat troubles.

Doctor Who takes three prizes at the National Television Awards in a repeat of its success last year.

Microsoft and Peter Jackson postpone the making of a film based on the Halo video game after backers pull out.

The first stage of a £150m investment in regional museums is praised for boosting visitor numbers.

Classical singer Russell Watson postpones his forthcoming UK tour after undergoing brain surgery.

Colombia's vice president is "baffled" by Kate Moss's success following cocaine allegations.

TV host Oprah Winfrey gives audience members $1,000 (£526) each to donate to a charitable cause.

Veteran actor William Franklyn, known for voicing the 1960s Schweppes TV adverts, dies aged 81.

Madonna says she may adopt another child from abroad following her proposed adoption of a Malawian boy.

Microsoft and Peter Jackson postpone the making of a film based on the Halo video game after backers pull out.

Pop trio Atomic Kitten will reform to play a concert in support of jailed Liverpool football fan Michael Shields.

Alec Baldwin asks for his voice to be removed from an "unfair" documentary about Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Pioneering screenwriter Nigel Kneale, best known for the Quatermass TV serials and films, dies aged 84.

A musical about the witches from The Wizard of Oz breaks West End box office records, its producers say.

The Rolling Stones cancel a gig in Hawaii and postpone other tour dates as Mick Jagger suffers throat troubles.

Veteran game show host Bob Barker is stepping down from hosting The Price is Right after 35 years.

Pop trio Atomic Kitten will reform to play a concert in support of jailed Liverpool football fan Michael Shields.

William Styron, whose Holocaust novel Sophie's Choice became a film and an opera, has died, aged 81.

William Styron, whose Holocaust novel Sophie's Choice became a film and an opera, has died, aged 81.

Record company EMI sign a deal with the estate of crooner Dean Martin to use the singer's likeness.

The judge who put coded messages in his Da Vinci Code plagiarism trial ruling has written another.

Veteran game show host Bob Barker is stepping down from hosting The Price is Right after 35 years.

The judge who put coded messages in his Da Vinci Code plagiarism trial ruling has written another.

Singer George Michael lends the piano on which John Lennon wrote Imagine to an anti-war exhibition.

London-born rapper Sway is to be honoured at the BET Hip-Hop awards in the US.

Colombia's vice president is "baffled" by Kate Moss's success following cocaine allegations.

Social networking site MySpace is to block users from uploading copyrighted music to its pages.

Veteran game show host Bob Barker is stepping down from hosting The Price is Right after 35 years.

Doctor Who takes three prizes at the National Television Awards in a repeat of its success last year.

Madonna says she may adopt another child from abroad following her proposed adoption of a Malawian boy.

The Rolling Stones cancel a gig in Hawaii and postpone other tour dates as Mick Jagger suffers throat troubles.

Singer George Michael lends the piano on which John Lennon wrote Imagine to an anti-war exhibition.

The Red Hot Chili Peppers are leading the way at this years MTV Europe music awards with four nominations.

Pioneering screenwriter Nigel Kneale, best known for the Quatermass TV serials and films, dies aged 84.

Madonna says she may adopt another child from abroad following her proposed adoption of a Malawian boy.

London-born rapper Sway is to be honoured at the BET Hip-Hop awards in the US.

Record company EMI sign a deal with the estate of crooner Dean Martin to use the singer's likeness.

The judge who put coded messages in his Da Vinci Code plagiarism trial ruling has written another.

Social networking site MySpace is to block users from uploading copyrighted music to its pages.

Social networking site MySpace is to block users from uploading copyrighted music to its pages.

TV host Oprah Winfrey gives audience members $1,000 (£526) each to donate to a charitable cause.

TV host Oprah Winfrey gives audience members $1,000 (£526) each to donate to a charitable cause.

Microsoft and Peter Jackson postpone the making of a film based on the Halo video game after backers pull out.

A musical about the witches from The Wizard of Oz breaks West End box office records, its producers say.

Record company EMI sign a deal with the estate of crooner Dean Martin to use the singer's likeness.

The Rolling Stones postpone a show in the US to allow singer Sir Mick Jagger time to rest his voice.

Singer George Michael lends the piano on which John Lennon wrote Imagine to an anti-war exhibition.

Veteran actor William Franklyn, known for voicing the 1960s Schweppes TV adverts, dies aged 81.

Singer George Michael lends the piano on which John Lennon wrote Imagine to an anti-war exhibition.

London-born rapper Sway is to be honoured at the BET Hip-Hop awards in the US.

Doctor Who takes three prizes at the National Television Awards in a repeat of its success last year.

The judge who put coded messages in his Da Vinci Code plagiarism trial ruling has written another.

William Styron, whose Holocaust novel Sophie's Choice became a film and an opera, has died, aged 81.

Alec Baldwin asks for his voice to be removed from an "unfair" documentary about Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Classical singer Russell Watson postpones his forthcoming UK tour after undergoing brain surgery.

The first stage of a £150m investment in regional museums is praised for boosting visitor numbers.

The Rolling Stones postpone a show in the US to allow singer Sir Mick Jagger time to rest his voice.

William Styron, whose Holocaust novel Sophie's Choice became a film and an opera, has died, aged 81.

A musical about the witches from The Wizard of Oz breaks West End box office records, its producers say.

Madonna says she may adopt another child from abroad following her proposed adoption of a Malawian boy.

Social networking site MySpace is to block users from uploading copyrighted music to its pages.

A musical about the witches from The Wizard of Oz breaks West End box office records, its producers say.

London-born rapper Sway is to be honoured at the BET Hip-Hop awards in the US.

Borat creator Sacha Baron Cohen reportedly signs a $42.5m (£22m) film deal starring his character Bruno.

The Red Hot Chili Peppers are leading the way at this years MTV Europe music awards with four nominations.

Alec Baldwin asks for his voice to be removed from an "unfair" documentary about Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Social networking site MySpace is to block users from uploading copyrighted music to its pages.

Social networking site MySpace is to block users from uploading copyrighted music to its pages.

Classical singer Russell Watson postpones his forthcoming UK tour after undergoing brain surgery.

Pop trio Atomic Kitten will reform to play a concert in support of jailed Liverpool football fan Michael Shields.

Borat creator Sacha Baron Cohen reportedly signs a $42.5m (£22m) film deal starring his character Bruno.

Classical singer Russell Watson postpones his forthcoming UK tour after undergoing brain surgery.

The judge who put coded messages in his Da Vinci Code plagiarism trial ruling has written another.

Doctor Who takes three prizes at the National Television Awards in a repeat of its success last year.

Record company EMI sign a deal with the estate of crooner Dean Martin to use the singer's likeness.

The judge who put coded messages in his Da Vinci Code plagiarism trial ruling has written another.

Social networking site MySpace is to block users from uploading copyrighted music to its pages.

Veteran actor William Franklyn, known for voicing the 1960s Schweppes TV adverts, dies aged 81.

Borat creator Sacha Baron Cohen reportedly signs a $42.5m (£22m) film deal starring his character Bruno.

The Rolling Stones cancel a gig in Hawaii and postpone other tour dates as Mick Jagger suffers throat troubles.

Alec Baldwin asks for his voice to be removed from an "unfair" documentary about Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Doctor Who takes three prizes at the National Television Awards in a repeat of its success last year.

The Red Hot Chili Peppers are leading the way at this years MTV Europe music awards with four nominations.

Jonathan Ross is dubbed "risque" by Ofcom but not in breach of rules over an interview with David Cameron.

The first stage of a £150m investment in regional museums is praised for boosting visitor numbers.

The Red Hot Chili Peppers are leading the way at this years MTV Europe music awards with four nominations.

Record company EMI sign a deal with the estate of crooner Dean Martin to use the singer's likeness.

Madonna says she may adopt another child from abroad following her proposed adoption of a Malawian boy.

Singer George Michael lends the piano on which John Lennon wrote Imagine to an anti-war exhibition.

Jonathan Ross is dubbed "risque" by Ofcom but not in breach of rules over an interview with David Cameron.

Borat creator Sacha Baron Cohen reportedly signs a $42.5m (£22m) film deal starring his character Bruno.

Singer George Michael lends the piano on which John Lennon wrote Imagine to an anti-war exhibition.

The judge who put coded messages in his Da Vinci Code plagiarism trial ruling has written another.

Singer George Michael lends the piano on which John Lennon wrote Imagine to an anti-war exhibition.

A musical about the witches from The Wizard of Oz breaks West End box office records, its producers say.

Jonathan Ross is dubbed "risque" by Ofcom but not in breach of rules over an interview with David Cameron.

The Rolling Stones postpone a show in the US to allow singer Sir Mick Jagger time to rest his voice.

TV host Oprah Winfrey gives audience members $1,000 (£526) each to donate to a charitable cause.

The judge who put coded messages in his Da Vinci Code plagiarism trial ruling has written another.

The Rolling Stones cancel a gig in Hawaii and postpone other tour dates as Mick Jagger suffers throat troubles.

Madonna says she may adopt another child from abroad following her proposed adoption of a Malawian boy.

The first stage of a £150m investment in regional museums is praised for boosting visitor numbers.

Singer George Michael lends the piano on which John Lennon wrote Imagine to an anti-war exhibition.

Jonathan Ross is dubbed "risque" by Ofcom but not in breach of rules over an interview with David Cameron.

London-born rapper Sway is to be honoured at the BET Hip-Hop awards in the US.

Microsoft and Peter Jackson postpone the making of a film based on the Halo video game after backers pull out.

The Rolling Stones postpone a show in the US to allow singer Sir Mick Jagger time to rest his voice.

The Rolling Stones postpone a show in the US to allow singer Sir Mick Jagger time to rest his voice.

Pop trio Atomic Kitten will reform to play a concert in support of jailed Liverpool football fan Michael Shields.

Pioneering screenwriter Nigel Kneale, best known for the Quatermass TV serials and films, dies aged 84.

The Rolling Stones cancel a gig in Hawaii and postpone other tour dates as Mick Jagger suffers throat troubles.

The Red Hot Chili Peppers are leading the way at this years MTV Europe music awards with four nominations.

Social networking site MySpace is to block users from uploading copyrighted music to its pages.

Singer George Michael lends the piano on which John Lennon wrote Imagine to an anti-war exhibition.

The Red Hot Chili Peppers are leading the way at this years MTV Europe music awards with four nominations.

William Styron, whose Holocaust novel Sophie's Choice became a film and an opera, has died, aged 81.

The Rolling Stones cancel a gig in Hawaii and postpone other tour dates as Mick Jagger suffers throat troubles.

Madonna says she may adopt another child from abroad following her proposed adoption of a Malawian boy.

London-born rapper Sway is to be honoured at the BET Hip-Hop awards in the US.

Alec Baldwin asks for his voice to be removed from an "unfair" documentary about Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Borat creator Sacha Baron Cohen reportedly signs a $42.5m (£22m) film deal starring his character Bruno.

London-born rapper Sway is to be honoured at the BET Hip-Hop awards in the US.

Classical singer Russell Watson postpones his forthcoming UK tour after undergoing brain surgery.

Jonathan Ross is dubbed "risque" by Ofcom but not in breach of rules over an interview with David Cameron.

Veteran game show host Bob Barker is stepping down from hosting The Price is Right after 35 years.

Veteran game show host Bob Barker is stepping down from hosting The Price is Right after 35 years.

William Styron, whose Holocaust novel Sophie's Choice became a film and an opera, has died, aged 81.

The Rolling Stones postpone a show in the US to allow singer Sir Mick Jagger time to rest his voice.

Pop trio Atomic Kitten will reform to play a concert in support of jailed Liverpool football fan Michael Shields.

Borat creator Sacha Baron Cohen reportedly signs a $42.5m (£22m) film deal starring his character Bruno.

Microsoft and Peter Jackson postpone the making of a film based on the Halo video game after backers pull out.

Doctor Who takes three prizes at the National Television Awards in a repeat of its success last year.

London-born rapper Sway is to be honoured at the BET Hip-Hop awards in the US.

Alec Baldwin asks for his voice to be removed from an "unfair" documentary about Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Borat creator Sacha Baron Cohen reportedly signs a $42.5m (£22m) film deal starring his character Bruno.

Colombia's vice president is "baffled" by Kate Moss's success following cocaine allegations.

The Rolling Stones cancel a gig in Hawaii and postpone other tour dates as Mick Jagger suffers throat troubles.

Classical singer Russell Watson postpones his forthcoming UK tour after undergoing brain surgery.

The first stage of a £150m investment in regional museums is praised for boosting visitor numbers.

Singer George Michael lends the piano on which John Lennon wrote Imagine to an anti-war exhibition.

Veteran game show host Bob Barker is stepping down from hosting The Price is Right after 35 years.

Social networking site MySpace is to block users from uploading copyrighted music to its pages.

Doctor Who takes three prizes at the National Television Awards in a repeat of its success last year.

William Styron, whose Holocaust novel Sophie's Choice became a film and an opera, has died, aged 81.

A musical about the witches from The Wizard of Oz breaks West End box office records, its producers say.

Classical singer Russell Watson postpones his forthcoming UK tour after undergoing brain surgery.

A musical about the witches from The Wizard of Oz breaks West End box office records, its producers say.